On Eagle's Wings

Sunday, September 10, 2006

9:30 AM

Ablaze-d

It has been a wonderful experience at the Ablaze Youth Rally at St. Ignatius Church yesterday night. I was spirtually recharged after I realised (only just yesterday night) that I was already spiritually exhausted after months since I went for YISS last year. But it has really been the music ministry work that keeps me going. I arrived at Commonwealth MRT station to meet up with Clement and Shawn. Coincidentally, we are greeted by 3 friendly representatives from the Ablaze committee who are supposed to bring people who wanted to go to St Ignatius Church as well.

I felt immense joy and peace when I have arrived at my destination. The joy and peace which I have not felt for a long time since YISS. As the session starts, the joy became amplified. Something encourages me to continue with my music ministry in my parish, Holy Trinity Church. It's only then I realise that I was spiritually exhausted, (though not dead) after serving in the music ministry for months, though it's my passion for music that keeps me going, rather than the spirit.

We started off with some praise n worship, followed by the talk by Freddy. The talk was enlightening. In his talk, he mentioned about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives. He said that we need to renew and be spiritually charged by the Holy Spirit consistently. Our human body is made up of three main parts, the physical body, the spirit, and the soul/mind. The soul or mind is actually our thoughts and the spirit is our emotions and feelings. The role of the Holy Spirit is to recharge the spirit part of each human. It is also our mind and spirit He went on to speak about "living victoriously in Christ" and quoted this verse from Romans 12:2 "Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God- what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect".

God gives us the choice to control our emotions and thoughts. It's all about self-control. Freddy also mentioned that we have the ability to control what we think and feel. It's all about "reframing". He uses the example of St. Paul, when he was imprison, and yet he was rejoiced about his imprisonment. He sees his imprisonment as an opportunity to spread the gospel (refer to Phillippians 1:12) and that his "being in prison has given most of the brothers more confidence in the Lord, so that they grow bolder all the time to preach the message fearlessly". Most of the outcome in the events that happen in our life depends largely on our response to the event, i.e, whether we decide to take things positively or negatively. And the point to take note is that our response will have a impact on our surroundings and the people around us.

Just some examples, how would you react if one day you met with a car accident? Would you say "Great! Now I can buy a new car" or lament about the accident? Many times, I have taken the setbacks in my life too negatively, for example, when I didnt do well for exams, I will tell myself, "Oh never mind, the entire cohort didnt do well as well". As a result, i didn't really do that well in my studies. Other examples in my life includes rejection, criticism, unpleasant remarks from others about myself. It's all about 'positive' thinking as what my dear friend, Audrey always try to bring across to me. (Yup, I am being influenced in someway or another).

Elaine gave a wonderful and touching testimonial at after the talk. I was really comforted by her testimonial, about how she grows spiritually in faith even though the setbacks in life. I was comforted because my promise to God (to bring her closer to Him) was fulfilled in a way (as she affirmed me after the session) even though I thought it was a failure after what had happened to us, the cold war between us etc. It's a long story. When I reflect on it, it is really amazing how God works in people, when I reflect on how I got to know her better. :)

After the session, Shawn, Francis and I went to Macdonald's for night supper at around 1am. Thanks to the long bus journey ride.

Unfortunately, I had a bad morning mass. I woke up at 6.11am, and couldnt find my EZ-link card, and was slightly harrassed by it throughout the mass. Reached the main church at 6.43am. The psalm didnt go well due to the fact that the psalm is new and the cantor is not familiarised by it, and probably because I didnt have the chance to practise with him before the mass.

I had a talk with Frankie, Audrey (though briefly) about our church charasmatic group. Somehow, I don't feel like what I feel in the Ablaze Youth Rally whenever I attended my church charasmatic. I made a mistake by saying the 'spirit' in our church is weak. Audrey refuted by saying that we shouldnt judge the spirit whether is weak or strong by what we feel, but rather your faith level that God is present (pardon me if I misinterpret the statement). Coincidentally, Frankie and Lawrence were talking about it on the way home in Frankie's car. Well, apparently, Frankie felt that the spiritual level of the individual in our group is strong, but the problem is that the spirit is not shared or reach out to the others.. That's probably why I do not feel the bond between me and the group. Well, I must admit, my faith is not strong yet, but then if I could feel a thing in the Youth Rally, I should be able to feel the same if I am in the church group, isn't it?

Oh well, sick to be back to camp. I am going to be Justice Bao when I book out on Saturday after training under the hot sun and overnight at Sungei Gedong. Please pray that I will be well when I book out this Saturday!