On Eagle's Wings

Saturday, August 05, 2006

12:47 AM

Two days of the long weekend has gone. It was indeed a meaningful one.

Well, the long weekend is due to our unit's 36th aniversary celebration. We went to Suntec City at 5.30am to prepare for the warm up to the vertical marathon. It is indeed a great challenge for us to climb 45 storeys of staircase, '900 steps to conquer', just to quote from the little poster that has been displayed on our campsite.

At 651.am, I began my flight of stairs. As usual, the first few flight of stairs is manageable, but upon reaching the 15th storey, fatigue starts to set in. I was catching my breath, breathing hard due to the high altitude. Then came the 30th storey, 40th storey and I almost died, but I perservered till the end. At 9 min 34 sec mark, (according to my own stop watch), I managed to complete the climb up.

We walked down to 43rd storey to take the lift, feeling the tightness in our leg muscles. We had macdonald's for breakfast and waited for the results to be annouced.

Well, amazingly, our battalion best timing is 6 min 12 sec (apparently, it's from our company), and of course, our company got the best average timing of 9min 57 sec. :)

I played for evening mass yesterday and today. At first, I was a little reluctant, fearing that the animator might be a stranger to me (since agnes left), but apparently, Annette is still there.

Went for holy hour this evening. Something that touches me was the peaceful atmosphere in the chapel. It is so near and yet so far. It's something which I have dreamt about it before. I just wonder if I am having phophetic dreams when I am asleep. Sometimes, I am able to see the area that I am in in my dream, (same setting, lighting and atmosphere) the place might be somewhere which I will be in the future. I won't know the place, until I am at the place itself. And when I try to ask myself, where have I seen it before, I won't be able to tell when, but I know it appears in my dream before.

If you ask about my emotions this week, I am trapped in my own emotions. As much as I want to be a positive person, being a happier person, a confident one, I am always put down by obstacles that come along the way.

There are many things in my heart which I want to say to someone, but I never have the courage to, fear of saying the wrong things and fear of losing a friendship, fear of rejection. I know I am not eloquent and couldn't express myself well.

Admist these depressing feelings, I guess I have found God in church music. It just brings me a temporary joy whenever I sing and praise God (some of the most recent hymns I sing to myself 'Glory to God' (mass of creation), Table of Plenty, On Eagle's Wings etc.)

I guess the only way I could find joy is really through music, unlike some others, who has the greatest desire to love and serve God. As what Leonard has said (in one of the YI prayer meet I attended), I am probably one who sees God in a microscopic way, trying to squeeze whatever I can to know him, unlike others who sees God in a macro manner. Some people get excited and enthusatic when it comes to talking about God, for me, I am neither excited nor disinterested, unless it's something interesting and something spirtually enriching.

Maybe I am both spiritually and emotionally down. :)

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord
who abide in his shadow for life
Say to the Lord, "My refuge,
my rock in whom I trust!"

And He will raise you up
On Eagle's wings
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun
and hold you in the palm of his hand

The snare of the fowler will never capture you
and famine will bring you no fear
Under his wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield

And He will raise you up
On Eagle's wings
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun
and hold you in the palm of his hand

You need not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.
And He will raise you up
On Eagle's wings
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun
and hold you in the palm of his hand

For to his angels he's given a command
to guard you in all of your ways;
up on their hands they will bear you up,
lest you dash your foot against a stone
And He will raise you up
On Eagle's wings
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun
and hold you in the palm of his hand